To the Girl Staying Home on Prom Night

To the Girl Staying Home on Prom Night:

 You bold girls who wanted no part of prom from the beginning, enjoy your night–this note is not for you. Go have a blast!  This is a note to the girl who wishes she were at the prom tonight. I wanted to send you a note to be sure knew a few things. The first one is that not everyone is at the prom. Seriously. It feels like you are the only one not there, but you’re not. I have a junior and a senior (boys) and they are both not attending tonight. The senior missed last year too. I posted his “Prom Night Photos” which he took while he was working (rather than attending prom) and it went a little viral. Why? Because I think there were lots of other people feeling like they were the only ones not at prom too.

     You might be tempted to feel a little sad or lonely. Please don’t. Embrace the concept that being alone is different than being lonely. Some people who spent hundreds of dollars on a dress and hairstyling might be feeling pretty lonely at the prom. I remember my son overheard a girl last year whispering to her friend the Monday after prom weekend, “I didn’t want to do it, but I felt guilty that he spent so much money on me.” While I’m not exactly sure what she didn’t want to do, my guess would be that she may have felt pretty lonely that night, even though she was not alone.

            Here’s something else to consider about prom night: It’s not your wedding night! Seriously, teen girls across America obsess about who will ask them, how he’ll ask them, what they’ll wear, and how their hair will look. While important, it’s not significant. It will have no impact whatsoever on their future. Unless of course they do things that night sexually that they will regret with a few years of perspective added to their lives. Or maybe they will regret it the next week when rumors fly or cruel words are spoken.

            As you hang out at home or perhaps with a couple friends who didn’t attend, consider your future wedding night. Now, who you are with on THAT night actually does matter. It’s actually the most important decision you will ever make after choosing to follow Jesus. Spend time tonight thinking about the qualities that you are looking for in the person you will marry. Think about the boy you hoped would ask you. Does he have some of those qualities? Just because he didn’t ask you doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. My sons liked a couple girls each this year. They just weren’t quite ready to ask them out yet. They felt like prom was a lot of hype and expense and they opted to pass.

            Here’s something else that I promise—when you are an adult you will find LOTS of people who say, “I didn’t go to my prom either.” And they will be some pretty cool people and you will not care one bit that you skipped yours. But for tonight, and these past challenging weeks leading up to prom and for the first days after prom, stay strong. You are not “less cool” than girls who went. You are you. The boy who you will marry someday will be pretty happy that you didn’t do things tonight with another boy. Embrace that and enjoy your summer!!!!