The Gift of Enough Discussion Questions

Here are a few questions to get a group discussion going for a one night book club:

1) Were you surprised that The Joneses were broke? How does this reality impact you personally? Does it surprise you? What about families who give their kids everything but are not stressed financially? Should they still give their kids what they ask for if they can “afford it?”
2) Chapters 3-5 were on the power of the family. Do you believe that the family has as much power as the author claimed? How do you leverage your power as a family unit? What challenges do you face?
3) How have you defined Enough in an area of your life? How did chapter 6 challenge you personally?
4) What was your reaction to some of the ways the author managed her kids’ environment? Did this chapter empower you to change an environment that you never considered before?
5) How can you create a financial filter for your kids? Is this a worthwhile endeavor or would they find their own way without specific training?
6) How can you minimize the inflow of stuff? Who in your life makes this area challenging? How can you speak about this topic without damaging the relationship?
7) When has “stuff” had power over you? One of your kids?
8) Have you prepared your kids for poverty or for a life of leisure? How can you begin training in this area?
9) What has your experience and observations been about allowances? What were some take-aways from this chapter?
10) How can you develop a heart for giving and nurture a spirit of contentment in yourself and your children?
11) How is Christ Enough for you? How can this biblical truth become a reality for yourself and you family?

 

If you want to study the book in more detail and over a longer period of time, here is a chapter by chapter breakdown.

Introduction

  1. Miller shares how her frugal upbringing paved the way for shaping her own views in regard to spending and saving. What’s your “story?” How did your childhood affect your concept of personal money management?
  2. What are your initial goals for this study, personally, as a mother, or as a wife?

 

Chapter 1

  1. On page 4, Miller states, “We want kids to be responsible with money, yet if we don’t prepare them specifically for life in our materialistic culture, we set them up for financial struggles and a life marred with discontentment.” Respond to this statement. Do you agree that specific training is needed in this arena, or disagree that one can develop a healthy financial filter without close guidance?
  2. Up to this point, has going against the grain of a consumeristic culture been a priority to you? Why or why not?
  3. Are you surprised that the Joneses are broke? How does this impact you personally? Does it surprise you? What about families who are not stressed financially and choose to give to their kids extravagantly? Should they still give their kids everything they ask for because they can “afford it?”

 

Chapter 2

  1. In what way(s) are you most tempted to keep up with the Joneses and spend beyond your means (i.e. vacations, clothing, new vehicles, entertainment, etc.)? What negative messages, if any, might your children be gleaning from these extravagant indulgences?
  2. On page 9, Miller references Ecclesiastes 5:10, “Whoever loves money never has enough,” expounding that it’s in our nature to want more than we have. However, on page 11, she points to the Apostle Paul’s widely quoted verse on contentment, Philippians 4:12. How do we break the cycle of greed and become more like Paul, someone who learned to be content regardless of what he had or didn’t have?
  3. Proverbs 22:7 is clear about the danger of debt. How has our culture dismissed the fear of debt altogether? Does this concern you? How have you (or someone you’ve known) experienced the pitfalls of debt?

 

Chapter 3

  1. What sort of “emergencies” (vehicle repair, braces, household maintenance, etc.) have you experienced that saving for would have prevented (or did, in fact, prevent)?
  2. Did you (or someone you know) succumb to unnecessary debt as a young adult? If so, what could have prevented that? If you managed to steer clear of credit card debt or exorbitant student loans, why?
  3. Are you tempted to provide “the best” for your children, indulging them in activities, name-brand clothes, or house filled to the brim with toys? If so, do you feel like your children are indeed grateful, or that they’ve come to expect a particular lifestyle? If you’re on track in this area, does your family find it difficult to swim upstream?
  4. React to Miller’s comments on the technological age of Facebook, Instagram, and smart phones. What might be some of the long-term effects of growing up in a world where so much is shared and compared?

 

Chapter 4

  1. Do you feel like you have a good heart connection with each of your children? What types of activities foster those strong relationships, noting that each children gives and receives love differently?
  2. Describe your children’s individual strengths and weaknesses. Do you feel like you truly understand how your child ticks? Up to this point, are you working with his/her personality or against it?
  3. Answer the question Miller poses on page 33: “What are your traditions and rituals? What special places to you enjoy frequenting? What inside jokes would others never understand?” How do you feel that each of these bonds you as a family unit?

 

Chapter 5

  1. Within your own family, what culturally accepted values do you wish to teach against (i.e. sexualization of women, acceptance of party culture, etc.). Have you implemented specific strategies to counteract the cultural messages your child may receive from school, TV, friends, other adults?
  2. What boundaries do you feel may be appropriate (now or in the future) in regard to TV, computer time, or cell phone use? Is it even necessary to place limitations on such devices?
  3. Currently, does your family have a healthy balance of outside activities vs. time at home with the family? If so, what have you done intentionally to preserve family time? If not, what changes might be helpful in achieving more balance?

 

Chapter 6

  1. In general, do you feel like your natural tendency is to operate in Scarcity, Enough, Abundance, or Too Much? Is your spouse on the same page as you?
  2. In what ways have you recently (or could you) help your children to grasp the concept of “Enough.”
  3. Reflect on your childhood: what are some simple toys, activities, or memories that you have? In 30 years, upon what childhood memories do you hope your children will hold close to their hearts?

 

Chapter 7

  1. Are you conscious of your responses to your children when they ask for something new? Do you typically cave in, brush them off, or explain why you don’t own “x?” Is this strategy working? Do you feel it will work long-term?
  2. Answer the question that Miller asks on page 64, “In what ways have you conditioned a response to a given situation?” Do your children have certain expectations of walking into Target? Chuck-E-Cheese? The Scholastic Book Fair? The Christmas morning living room?

 

Chapter 8

  1. Describe your family’s approach to money management. Do you budget, record monthly expenses, or have a different approach altogether? How is your system working for you? What are areas of achievement, as well as areas that could be changed for the better?
  2. To which are you more prone, raising kids with a “no limits” attitude or a “we’re so poor that we’re on a budget” attitude? In your speech, attitude, and tone, what can you change to foster a healthier concept of safe boundaries in terms of personal finance?

 

Chapter 9

  1. When has “stuff” overpowered you, your spouse, or one of your children? Describe the experience, as well as how you effectively or ineffectively worked through it.
  2. What can you do to minimize the inflow of “stuff” into your home? Who in your life makes this challenging? How can you speak about this topic without damaging the relationship?

 

Chapter 10

  1. What has been your strategy, effective or not, for managing the toy(s) that grabs hold of your child’s every waking thought, or the collection he/she can’t get enough of?
  2. Do you fall into the trap of buying at garage sales or resales just because you can purchase at a bargain? If so, what can change to curb this habit? If that’s not your tendency, how have you resisted the temptation to buy because it was a “great deal?”
  3. As you train your children, consider your prayer for them as you look into the future. In regard to their levels of happiness, contentment, and financial responsibility, what are your hopes 10, 20, or 30 years from now?

 

Chapter 11

  1. When are you most tempted not to say no to one of your children? At the gift shop at the zoo? In the check-out aisle while you’re on the phone? In the toy department during a tantrum?
  2. How do you feel about Miller’s conclusion of regular “treat-giving” upon good behavior? Do you agree that it can cause larger disobedience issues in the future? What has been your experience?
  3. Have you ever bought something for yourself or your child and then realized you would have been better off without it? When has waiting for a purchase been the wrong decision? What is your current strategy for waiting vs. buying?

 

Chapter 12

  1. Do you catch yourself feeling poor? What triggers lead to these feelings?    

Visiting a friend with a larger home? A friend’s Facebook album of her Cancun vacation? A mom at preschool whose child has designer everything? What can you do to pull yourself away from that type of destructive, woe-is-me attitude?

  1. Do your children perceive your financial resources as blessings? What can you do to foster a rooted sense of gratitude within your kids?
  2. Based on your current lifestyle, will your children leave the nest with realistic expectations of young adulthood? Have you prepared them for poverty or a life of leisure? What can you do today to begin training them?
  3. As you look toward the future, what first-jobs do you see as appropriate and beneficial for your child? What experiences would you like them to gain? What sorts of boundaries might you place on their income (i.e. tithing, saving, etc.)?
  4. How can you create a financial filter within your child(ren)? Is this a worthwhile endeavor, or will they find their way without specific training?

 

Chapter 13

  1. What chores do your children required to do at home? Do you have a system for chores, as well as for rewards or allowances? How is your system working, and are there areas for improvement?.
  2. Is your child a spender or a saver by nature? What challenges, as well as assets, do you anticipate based on his/her personality type?

 

Chapter 14

  1. As a Christian, rate your attitudes and behaviors in terms of living a life of contentment and generosity? Where may God be leading you to give more?
  2. Reflect on Romans 8:32, which Miller quotes on page 145. How does Christ’s ultimate sacrifice make you feel? How can you keep His selflessness at the forefront of your mind, especially during moments of discontentment, greed, or stinginess? How is Christ Enough for you and your family?
  3. In what ways could you (or do you already) instill generosity of time, talent, or treasure in your children?

 

Afterword

  1. As you finish this study, what are your takeaways? What changes do you plan to make in your home to improve not only your children’s financial literacy, but also give you a sense of freedom and peace?